I'm sorry for neglecting you blog, please don't die......

It's been like a month since I bloggity-blog-blogged, so I should probably get back to it.

Last week was spring break and it was very uneventful. I only did 2 things other than work.. 

I went out with Page for drinks on the first night of break, and went to lunch with my seeeester on one of the last days. there was a lot of work in between, so that is probably good.

Anywhoo on to more relevant, world saving, earth shattering ideas. Thats right, world saving and earth shattering at the same time. This is a multi level, advanced idea that just might change the lives of ducks everywhere.

Have you ever wondered why birds do not wear corrective lenses? It is because their eyes are on the side of their heads! Plus with no ears, spectacles would constantly fall off.

I present to you the idea of contacts for birds. Good idea right? WRONG. How do you possibly expect a duck to maintain contacts? their feathers would muck up the lenses and render them useless. and you said you cared about birds..........

So with out further tom foolery or shenanigans, I would like to introduce to you birdfocals: glasses of  birds. The design of these glasses is unique, because they are designed for speed, agility, and comfort for todays bird on the go. The two glass pieces are held together with a strap on the top and a firm tie on the bottom, that is snugly adjusted below the fowl's beak. think of them as prescription fighter pilot goggles, but with the sophistication that today's business bird would need.

Congratulations ducks, and you are indeed welcome

Slimy Alien Baby

I almost had to deliver a baby last night at work. ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

Miracle of life my booty, giving birth is THE most disgusting thing that you can ever see in your whole entire life. There is a reason why dads used to wait in the waiting room at hospitals and talk sports and smoke cigars--nobody wants to see that!!!!!

Pee, poop, blood, deformed alien baby? No thank you. I have had the "pleasure of delivering one baby before, and it is the most haunting disgusting thing ever! At that point it is not " awwww look at the baby!!!", it is "ewwwwww look at that slime covered mutant!!"

Seriously though, this lady was minutes away from having an ambulance baby, and I don't know about anyone else, but I don't think a gurney that mare often than not has a drunken homeless person on it is that great of a delivery place for a baby.

Anywhoooo, other than that, good day. HA

I am taking a 3 day course this weekend so that I can re-certify my EMT license. super super boring. 9-6 on Friday, Saturday and Sunday? talk about a bangarang weekend. what makes it even better is the fact that I work at 7 on Sunday, so now I will be gone from 9am on Sunday until at least 7am on Monday. Spec-freakin-tacular.

I went and watched Stephanie swim on Wednesday and Thursday, so that was pretty fun. I don't understand how people can swim that fast. I think that there should be a competitive bellyflop tournament at swim meets. the more slap the better. 

How would you even train for belly flopping tournaments? I mean, obviously flopping into a pool would be the best practice, but then you have to think about covering the maximum surface area in order to make the best slap and splash.

Maybe the "athletes" would be cross-entered in other sports that would help their size like competitive eating, sumo wrestling, and motorcycle riding, and again......

well, thats all the excitement I can take for one night, enjoy the sport

leaving iowa

The Iowa trip is coming to a close, and I am definitely ready to get back to Cali, I can honestly say that I am going to miss it out here. Not necessarily the cold weather and having nothing to do in this podunk town, but I am going to miss having a big family.

I will miss the way my grandpa's prayers are so proper and holy sounding.

I am going to miss having a big, sarcastic dutch family. Dont get me wrong, its nice having a small close family out in California, but I love having uncles, aunts, cousins..... even if they don't get along.

I will also miss the cheap gas and beer! gas is expensive at 1.85, and a pitcher of beer is 3 freakin dollars! how cheap is that? its like 5 bucks a pint at home!

There is no way I could move away from California for Iowa though. I don't think I am ready to move away from everyone I know, especially for a cold, podunk town! Peace out Pella!

Iowa day two

I woke up at around 9:30 to the noise of people walking around upstairs..... the major setback to sleeping in a basement. 

It started to snow around 10:30, and didn't stop until around 10 at night.... so that was fun. There is about 6 inches on the ground right now, and i don't know how I have never wanted to live in snow before.

We went driving around later in the day, found the houses that we used to live in, including the one my dad built, and then went back home because it started to snow really hard, and we couldn't really see what was the road, and what was somebody's front yard. My aunt and uncle are up north for a wedding, so we had the house to ourselves, which was kind of nice. We made a terrible bread-less pizza that just tasted like baked cheese--almost like hot, soft cheezits. We also played some Wii, watched a movie, and played with my aunt's snuggie, one of the most pointless inventions on the face of this earth.

Tomorrow we have to get up wicked early so I can shovel the driveway before breakfast at the windmill cafe, then off to tour the largest working windmill in the United States. It could be worse though, at least I'm not at a speech and debate tournament!! (sorry Stephanie....)

I like to tell myself that I could live out here, but honsetly, there is nothing to do here. If I get bored so easily in Riverside, what would i do in a town that is like a tenth the size?? I'll tell you one thing, I'd be married already, because at 23, I am almost unmarriable! 

Iowa, day one

So I am about to go to bed in my aunt and uncle's basement. It is pretty freaking cold, and its supposed to dump snow tomorrow, so that should be cool....

We left LAX last night at like one oclock, and of course the one person on the whole freking flight who wants to use their light sits right behind us! To make things even better the light was angled forward so it was beaming right in my face. Then I spilled ice water on my leg, it was all around miserable.

After that we had a 2 hour lay over in Dallas, then our connecting flight to Missouri was almost empty so I got to lay across a whole row, and i didnt spill ice water, so it was win-win.

After that we got our rental car, a Toyota Highlander, and grabbed some breakfast at Sonic, which was not as fun as the commercials made it seem. 3 hours later, here we are, in dutch town usa, birthplace of me and wyatt earp.

Oh yeah, and Stephanie I wont forget that I owe you big time!

Hats

Some people would call me a hat whore.

To that I say, so what. Hats happen to be a very intriguing to me. I mean, get hats that come in every color known to man? AMAZING!  After knowing that, how can you not buy a hat to match with pretty much everything you own? So when you think about it, me owning 25 hats is not that ridiculous..... right?

The problem is, I am super addicted to buying hats now. I haven't bought a hat in quite a while, and I am feeling the need to get another one.....

The problem with this is that I am pretty broke and can not afford to be buying hats all willy nilly and what not. I think maybe I should just start stealing peoples hats so that I can get rid of the urge of buying a new one.

This class is boring me, and has nothing to do with hats. Sometimes I feel like you learn absolutely nothing in college, you just have to pay a crap load of money, then wait 4 years for a piece of paper that qualifies me to make a decent amount of money.....

Stephanie is currently reading what I am typing, instead of waiting until I post it to read it. How dare she. 

Iowa in 2 days. I am pretty excited. I get to see the fam again, plus it is supposed to be snowing there, and that should be a nice change of pace. I wonder if I should buy a new hat for my trip............